Thursday, April 6, 2017

Why It's OK With Me As a Special Needs Parent That A Restaurant Bans Kids


There was recently a story about a restaurant banning kids from dining at their establishment. This isn't a new thing either, I've seen other stories the last several years very similar to this recent one. There have been numerous replies to this story, with negative and positive view points on the idea of banning children from a dining establishment.
Here are my thoughts on this topic, considering that I have yet to read a reply from a parent like myself with special needs kids.

WHO ARE YOU TO ALLOW YOUR KIDS TO BE DISRESPECTFUL?
To the point where a business who makes it's money off of people eating feels the need to ban a certain age group of hungry mouths? My oldest is non-verbal and extremely sensory seeking. For the longest time, we didn't do restaurants because we never knew when our kid would be triggered by something and get loud. When we did attempt it,  we chose a family friendly restaurant and we made a point to tell the server ahead of time that at any time our meal could be changed to a to-go order.
It's tough not getting out in public a lot because you want to teach your kids manners, but at the same time, you don't want to disrupt someones meal just because you're failing to control a melt down. Even more, if my kid is melting down enough for us to leave, it's best for him anyway if we go ahead and do that. Something is really bothering him, and there's no way he'll enjoy himself until whatever it is can be resolved. If you as a parent are not in control of the situation, you need to leave.

WHO ARE YOU TO ASSUME THAT THE CHILD YELLING IS DOING SO BECAUSE THE PARENTS ARE LETTING THEM?
See, this situation is two fold. In the particular story that I mentioned above, I believe the kid ban started after kicking out parents who refused to turn the volume down on their kids ipad. Those parents were assholes, but surely not every single story that led up to the last straw cannot be that cut and dry. What I'm hoping that people remember when they comment on stories like these is that "kid that was screaming" in your ear, and the "parents finally left after a few minutes, but it was SOOOOO loud and annoying"....... That could have been us. Or someone like us.
If children who can't help how they act in public annoy you to the point of writing scathing comments about it on the internet, you too, are an asshole.

NOT EVERYONE CAN JUST "GET A BABY SITTER" AND HAVE A DATE NIGHT.
Again, we didn't go out a lot when our oldest was younger. Now that he's better in certain situations that used to be overwhelming for him , we do venture out from time to time. We only trust a few people to watch our kids, because our oldest is non verbal. If you don't have a non verbal child, you don't understand how scary it is to leave him with people you don't know extremely well. Or maybe you can, because, empathy.
I digress...
To all those people commenting " GREAT, I get to have a date night with no kids around!" I hope you understand how lucky you are that Becky down the street who just started in high school can be trusted to watch your child. It's cool. Go out. Enjoy your kidless date night. My Hubby and I will stick to lunch dates where we can laugh at the people who scowl at the loud screaming baby, because we choose to be understanding. It's a much happier place to be. Just to be clear about this; If you had to pay for the level of skill that my son requires to care for him, you wouldn't go out on date nights either.

The world needs EMPATHY and  a few restaurants that don't serve kids. Why?
So people who are annoyed at kids and don't think before they assume can sit in quiet and eat without being a major ass to a parent who is trying their best. So the parents who are the assholes ruining it for everyone else by letting their kids play their iPad on full blast can go elsewhere too. It's cool, There are other places for us non assholes to go with the family around people who are empathetic and helpful. Where I don't have to threaten a grown man for running his mouth about my kid. (True Story) We'll take our money down the street, thank you. No big deal. I see it as a win win.

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