Monday, February 20, 2017

Epic Mess : Medieval Memes Monday

All kids make messes. All parents complain about the amount of mess their kids can make, sure, but you haven't experienced a mess until you've lived in my house for a while. You learn things that other people don't, things that one can't know unless they live with someone who has major compulsory sensory needs.
For instance; when a bottle of liquid dish soap is poured out in its entirety onto carpet in one spot, it never ever completely comes out.
The carpet cleaner almost bit the dust. The old "the kids are sick" towels we had finally got thrown away because we used them to clean the water we were dumping in attempt to dilute it and we could not put them in the washer.
I also know that in the time it takes me to walk from one room to another, such a mess can be made. Two entire seconds, approximately.
Once, in the time it took me to take a pee, I came into his bedroom to find tooth paste all over the place. He was sucking on the open end then flinging it everywhere. It took me about 30 minutes to get it off the walls , furniture, and bedding ( which I had to throw in the washer). 
About 2 months later, I was up on a chair hanging a picture in their room when I realized there was dried toothpaste on the ceiling. He had gone full Pollock on that shit and I can't say that I wasn't impressed. In fact, I laughed my ass off at that point. Who else can say that they have tooth paste on their ceiling? I can. :)

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